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She was like that insurance commercial: "We know a lot because we've seen a lot." She was unattainable. Well, let's amend that. She was unattainable as long as I played on her home field. Give her the home team advantage of hitting on her with something she's heard before, and as I say I'm sure she had heard them all, and she'd shoot me down. For this to work, I would have to shake her confidence. Like football, I'd have to show her a play she'd never seen before, and for which she had no practiced defense.But how to shake the confidence of a woman like that? She was supremely self-confident because she had an entire life of wrapping everyone she met, man and woman, around her finger. She was used to getting what she wanted, and giving up only what she wanted. She was used to being in charge.I came up with something, and thought I'd put it out there and see how it developed. After laughing at one of our antics, I looked at Bridget and said, "Bridget, I want to thank you for never. When she addressed him impersonally, he knew any chance of nookie was several months farther away from the long shot. ‘Look, sweetie, I’m damn near infertile from your, er, involuntary capoeira move in the cojones. I knew I shouldn’t have encouraged you to take that Intro to Kick Ass course. ‘It was an African Brazilian dance class, and don’t be such a smart ass, Antoine. I didn’t object to your repeating the Salsa y Sueños class with ex-wife Katrina at the 92nd Street Y when, as you insisted, she was trying to deal with her immense solitude. Salsa y Sueños, all right. Hmpf. That woman remains la mujer des tus sueños, I bet.’ ‘Oh, boo, don’t be so hard on me, especially when it’ll take rehabilitative therapy for me to get hard in your presence again. Besides, my intimacies with Katrina soon will be a memories.’ If Pinocchio were not a fairytale, he would have his only possible hard-on, one long enough to whiff more of the coconut essence from behind her ears, which now were blushing.
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